I’m pretty lucky. I have ideas. Plenty of ideas. But what I lack on most occasions is that will to leap into something full on. I think myself out of doing many, many things. For whatever reason. But after a bout with the most horrendous melancholy, where I found myself feeling so lacking control over my own life, where a sort of weird invisibility was starting to take over, I remembered that in my very mind is a vault of possible doings that could…when time permits…keep me busy expressing, harnessing and offering every bit of ME that gets lost in the day to day.
I have to be productive in a creative way--that is my very own anti-anxiety/anti-depressant cocktail that has been a sort of saving grace since I can remember. But for the past few weeks I have felt so useless on the creative front…uninspired.
Which is scary.
But then it happened. Melancholy. And when it did, like a jolt, I jumped to journaling.
I wrote out every thought that came. Every bit of pettiness that was going through me. Every fear. I got honest, real honest, with myself, with what I'm not doing that I should be doing.
There are no excuses when you are faced with your own truth.
Nothing sets a fire so fast like listening to your own Spirit’s voice. People can tell you what you need to do all day, but it takes you--that inner voice of pure guidance-- to sweetly tell you what‘s up.
Then you have to listen.
And listen I did.
My life, the one I fear losing control over, is facing many changes. And not a single one of those changes is bad. Like I said, I’m pretty lucky. But knowing what I need to do every day, even if it’s a three word line of text, even it’s an idea that is scribbled out to do at a later date, or a quick sketch that could turn into another involved piece…It will be something.
Although we can like 92% of what we know about one another we mustn't allow the small bits of personality traits drive us too crazy that it hinders our relationships.
Love through it. Especially in the heaviest moments of labeling and separating. The 8%. The small fragment of time when you have convinced yourself that they are your enemy not your friend (or even closer). Things change. Emotions Change. Really quickly. We just have to stop labeling, stop obsessing, stop trying to rationalize the why's of someone else. Because it's really unrelated TO US--though it might momentarily catch us off guard and steal our attention away from what's important: progress in the personal form. Because no one is perfect. Because everyone should be concerned with themselves--We can’t allow the thoughts to turn into stones that build walls. There are already too many walls all around us. And AS PEOPLE who wish to knock down ALL walls it will take a certain amount of strength, emotional strength, to Love through it.
Love through it--that isn't catering to someone else's ego or being fake. It’s not smiling through it as much as it is breathing through it. It's simply acknowledging our humanistic simplicities--our imperfections--even our darknesses--and still being ok, in mind. It’s having that creeping feeling of “What the fuck!!” come upon us yet not letting it take control of the next moment.
We will not be friends with everyone. No matter how hard you try you will not mix well with some. But being open to the possibilities of that changing is taking an empowered step out of your head and into the light.
So many awesome things grow just by being in the light~
So last night The Guy and I took the kids out on the town for a local Food Truck Rally. Two Streets were closed off to accommodate over a dozen local food vendors who, thank the Food Gods, must love food just as much as us and the HUNDREDS of people who were there waiting in long lines and soaking up the foodie vibes. The selections were eclectic to say the least and we made a round to see what all had to offer, reading the specialties aloud from the hand written chalk boards. There were fried green tomatoes. Crab Cakes. Various Greek foods. Smoked Turkey legs and sausages. Beignets and much much more. The scene was as diverse as the food. There were teenagers holding hands, hip 20 somethings and on up from there. There were little kids EVERYWHERE. This made my son so happy as he spent time running and throwing leaves up into the air like the rest of the littles. The atmosphere was absolutely lovely. Even though we quickly realized that we were kind of unprepared for so many people, we didn't give up. All of the lines were pretty long, but it wasn't something to get upset about. It was exciting! We made the most of the lines we stood in talking about the different sizes and cool features the various Trucks, Carts and Trailers had. Our Daughter, who's pallet really makes me happy ordered a Korean style meatball sub that was...Delicious. We then mosied over to another line where we ordered a few Gourmet Burgers that were equally good. Mine was the Mango Burger and oh was it good. A freshly made burger patty, topped with a slice of cream cheese and this beautifully aromatic mango chutney on a perfect sized bun. The Burger place had run out of some things as I heard the guy taking orders tell a fellow patron that they didn't expect SO MANY people to show. Man, they must have felt so worn out at the end of the night as their line was no doubt the longest.
I'm so glad we made the trip and definitely look forward to the next rally.
We might just be hooked:)
A couple of months ago I drew up an idea for a wash tub for cleaning the pounds and pounds of veggies I hope to one day grow. We already grow a lot of greens in our garden so cleaning them can be tedious and time consuming as well as space consuming. Our kitchen really isn't that spacious. So I thought what better way to solve this problem than to have smething close to the garden to wash the greens in right after being harvested.
When we remodeled our home we took out the previous bathtub and replaced it with a newer one. For a year the old tub has been sitting waiting for it's repurpose. It's the perfect size for the perfect job and thankfully My Love agreed. One day after work in just an hour, he built the stand, bolted the tub in and viola! It was just a dreamed up. I have to say, I am one lucky lucky gal!
Twice a year I make up a batch of home made Cranberry Chutney. I'm always hesitant to share the recipe because it's my mainstay and it is usually the ONLY Chutney at the party. Therefore it stands out and is happily enjoyed. Though a condiment, it is often mistaken, rightfully so, as a treat. I have to share it simply because sharing is caring. ♥
What you will need:
1 cup sugar
1 cup water
1 12-ounce package Ocean Spray® Fresh or Frozen Cranberries, rinsed and drained
1/4 cup chopped and toasted walnuts
2 TB Spoons of Fresh OJ
1 TB Spoon of Cinnamon
2 TB Spoons of Brown Sugar
1 Medium Apple Diced
Combine water and sugar in a medium saucepan. Bring to boil; add cranberries, return to boil. Reduce heat and boil gently for 10 minutes, stirring occasionally. Cover and cool completely at room temperature.
Then add the rest of the ingredients. Cover again and put in the refrigerator to chill until ready to serve.
I'm proposing we have as much fun as humanly possible--go, now! Love, love with that crazy sweet never die down love. Steal kisses in crowds. Hold hands. Always hold hands. Don't let anything or anyone stand in the way of you living, breathing, being your soulful self. Let yourself get lost every once in a while--might be the quickest way to have an adventure. Be patient. Find a thinking chair. Take notes. Life is a whisper, a yodel, a hoot and holler. But more than any of that it belongs to you and what you do with it is what you do with it--everyday. Choices. Make good ones. Don't pimp your heart out. Don't hide the pretty. Be willing to dance when asked. Make up secret handshakes with your kids/friends. High fives are a must! pretty much always. If more than 3 people think you're weird then you are. Welcome. Write sad poetry after at least one break up. But don't drunk dial anyone to read it to them. That would be lame.